Holiday Huge

Holiday Huge

Around Christmas, Hannukah, the Winter Solstice or whatever winter celebration you partake in, let's face it: you're going to get fat. With gallon after gallon of rum-spiked egg nog, turkey, mashed potatoes, pie, and those little chocolate oranges that always break if you don't slam 'em on the table just right, there's gonna be a lot of calories going in you. However, this can also be a great time to make solid muscular gains. After all, it's winter, no one's gonna see your abs anyway, so what the hell! Time to get big.

Still, when you're running around to parties and get-togethers, shopping, as well as just the ordinary demands of work and life, finding time to lift can be a little bit of a drag. Thankfully, there are a number of activities you can do everyday (and probably will) that can by all means benefit your physique. Let's look at these:

1. Gift Shopping

Basically this is the deadlift of Yuletide weight training. This, when done correctly, will do a lot for improving grip strength, as well as developing the traps, forearms, and lats. Simply take two bags or baskets, and use that as the limit for how much you can carry. If you must make two or more trips, so be it: sacrifice to win!

Note: make sure you use correct form when picking up and carry the shopping bags. This will prevent unnecessary strain on the lower back.

2. Trees

Most people today use a fake plastic tree, however if you're interested in going old school, give it a shot with a trip to a good place that sells fresh trees (note: cutting one fresh might be great exercise, however you should be careful of where you get it, depending on whether the area is protected or not. Consult the Forest Branch of Manitoba Conservation before doing anything with a wild tree). Carrying this thick slab of wood will do wonders for your shoulders, lower back, and legs; ideally, you should carry it with two people at a time, for the sake of safety. If you're really hardcore, though, on the way to the house you can set the big old thing on your shoulders and do walking lunges towards your house. (Be very wary of the size of the tree when doing this!)

(Not pictured: a tree that anyone can do walking lunges with)

3. Food

No, I'm not talking about eating food...actually, yes, I am talking about eating food. Specifically, the act of eating food. The sheer mass of food consumed at this time is a physical labour in itself. The constant, high repetition of food to mouth is great for getting a pump in the biceps and forearms--and, that being said, we've all heard of the importance of food following a heavy lifting session--therefore, getting food in during the lifting session would be even better!

Of course, these are only a few of the ways in which we can use the holidays to benefit our physiques and ultimately enter the new year more massive, ripped, and striated than ever before! So gulp your egg nog, lift your shopping bags high above your head, and sing jolly carols of cheer for strength and fitness!

　

Disclaimer: This article is satirical in nature and the aforementioned methods are by no means meant to replace a proper resistance training program. Manitoban M.U.S.C.L is not responsible for any injuries (or stomach aches) incured as a result of our advice. If you think any of this advice is of any real value, we strongly encourage you to get in the gym right now and start picking large, heavy objects up, then putting them right back down. Repeat, for several months, years, and decades. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!